October, a Little Romance with Life

A Little Retrograde, A Little Renaissance

The first few days of October made me feel in love. In love with the impossible, perhaps. I saw the signs as something romantic, but instead of taking them as signs of a possible romance, I chose to see them as reminders to become a better version of myself.

It was like a youthful spark had returned, giving me the energy to do the things I wish I had done more of when I was younger, back in my teenage years.

Those were the days when I felt carefree, without worrying too much about what other people might say. Looking back, I don’t think I ever really cared about what they said or did. I simply lived my life. I practiced playing the guitar, drew almost every day, wrote my thoughts on paper, and made scrapbooks. These were some of the things that made me feel alive and helped me forget the noise around me.

It’s Venus retrograde in Scorpio, but instead of seeing it as a time to revisit old romantic feelings, I see it as an opportunity to look back at the things I used to love doing and start doing them again. A little reminder to romanticize my own life, appreciate myself more, and make room for the things that truly matter.

Another thing about this month is that I’ve felt more active on social media.

Since last year, I’ve mostly used my Instagram art account to read motivational words every day and occasionally share selected posts on my stories. I rarely posted anything myself. I started feeling overwhelmed by the constant stream of content and the endless recommendations that no longer seemed to align with the purpose of my art account. Somehow, I got caught up in it anyway.

It started when I followed an account that wasn’t art-related. Before I knew it, my feed had completely changed. I got trapped in a cycle of scrolling through posts that, although fun and satisfying to watch, left me feeling less inspired to create anything myself. But this month, I came to my senses and started unfollowing those accounts. I wanted to see the artists I had followed in the beginning and find inspiration in their work again. I used to think some of them had stopped posting because their work wasn’t reaching me anymore. I even searched for their accounts manually, only to discover that they had been actively sharing their art all along. I just wasn’t seeing it on my feed.

So, I cleared the air and slowly brought my Instagram back to what it used to be: a little corner filled with artists, illustrations, and things that inspire me to draw.

I also joined the Inktober challenge and started posting my art again. This is my eighth year participating in the challenge, and this time, I promised myself that I would complete all 31 days. It’s another way of showing up for myself and making time for something I genuinely love.

I’ve also been watching old teenage rom-coms lately. “10 Things I Hate About You” kept popping up on my feed, so I finally gave it a watch, and I didn’t regret it. It’s such a good movie! Watching these old-school teen films brings back a nostalgic feeling and awakens something familiar in me, like a little spark from my younger years that never really went away.

Most days this October have been ordinary, with plenty of rain. There have also been cancelled school days for the kids because of the haze that has been lingering for months. Interestingly, this has brought more students to my little home printing service to have their school modules printed. ^^

It’s not quite a shop yet, but I’m happy to see more people coming in and becoming customers. Every little step feels meaningful, especially when I’m reminded that I’m slowly building something of my own. And perhaps that’s another thing October has taught me. Sometimes, we get so caught up in waiting for the things we wish for that we fail to notice when they’re already happening.

Looking back, I realized that some of the things I’ve been manifesting have already found their way into my life. They may not have arrived in the grandest ways, but they’re here, quietly growing.

Maybe this is what falling in love with life looks like. Returning to the things that make me feel alive, making space for my own growth, creating again, and learning to appreciate the little things that are already mine.

For now, I’ll let this youthful spark stay a little longer, or forever. ^^