So Many Thoughts, So Little Sense

There’s something deeply frustrating about having a mind full of thoughts and ideas, but not being able to say them out loud. When you have too many creative ideas and don’t know how to express them. Feel like your brain is a constant brainstorm session and there’s this endless flow of thoughts, ideas, and feelings that just don’t seem to pause even when you want them to. That’s been me lately.
Actually, that’s always been me.
For as long as I can remember, my mind has been busy with questions, ideas, and feelings I haven’t always known how to express. Speaking doesn’t always come easily for me. Words tend to get stuck, jumbled, or simply fall short of what I truly feel. My mind is always buzzing. With stories. With designs. With unfinished drawings. With melodies I’ll probably never record. With sentences I wish I could say out loud, but can’t quite get right. It’s like I have a hundred tabs open in my head, and each one wants attention now.
It’s not that I don’t want to express them, it’s that I don’t know how to… not fully.
Other times I try to draw it, or write, or even play it out on a random instrument or doodle. But it still doesn’t match the clarity I feel inside. It’s frustrating. It’s also weirdly comforting like proof that there’s so much more in me than I know how to let out.
Art, in all its forms, has become my outlet. It allows me to speak without always needing perfect words. Lately, I’ve turned to writing, not for anyone else, but as a way to understand myself. I’ve realized that even when it feels hard to articulate what’s going on inside, there’s value in trying, in creating, in showing up.
I think creatives (whether you call yourself an artist or not) get this. There’s this constant itch to create something. To say something through color, through rhythm, through form. But what happens when you have too many things to say and too many ways to say them?
Sometimes it leaves me frozen. Like, should I draw this? Should I write about it? Maybe I’ll make it a song? Or should I just sleep and think about it again tomorrow?
In a world that moves so fast, where we’re expected to know, to speak, to act , sometimes the most honest thing we can do is just be. To sit with the messiness, the beauty, the silence, and slowly shape it into something that feels true.
I created a short video as my way of pressing pause. It’s an attempt to
I admire people who can focus on one thing and just go for it. I’ve tried. But my interests are loud and competing: “Paint me!” “Write this story!” “Ooh what if this became an animation?” It’s both beautiful and exhausting. Like being a one-person creative circus with no ringmaster.
I’m starting to believe that it’s okay.
Maybe the messiness is the art. Maybe the silence before the words come out is part of the music. Maybe we don’t have to force every idea into a finished product right away. Maybe some things are just meant to live inside us a little longer until they find their form.
I made a short video as my way of pressing pause. It’s my attempt to express something through film. It’s not perfect, I know that, but it’s a first step. And that’s something.
Taking photos and recording videos has become second nature, especially when I’m out and about. But I realized I rarely include myself in the frame in a meaningful or creative way. So this time, I challenged myself to be part of the story, to create shots where I was in the scene, not just behind the camera. I’ve always wanted to try that.
It honestly feels a little awkward to put this out there (hehe), but I learned something through the process: once you start, you do start to figure it out. The things that feel off can be improved. And you grow from there.
My goal is to eventually create aesthetic-style videos, though I’m still learning how to achieve that look with the editing software I’m using. If you’re curious, you can watch the video on my YouTube channel or right here.
I’ve got a bunch of video ideas in mind, and I’m committed to continuing this journey because who knows? A little miracle might be waiting somewhere down the road.
And maybe, just maybe, the magic is in trying anyway.
edit…
I decided to set the video to private. After a few days of sitting with it, something about it just didn’t feel right. Maybe it’s just me but I started feeling anxious, like I had shared too much, too soon. So instead, I’m shifting my focus back to something that feels more natural right now: my animation projects.
Still, I’m grateful for the experience. It helped me realize something important, I do want to create and tell stories, but that doesn’t mean I always need to be seen. If I can share what’s in my heart through my work, that’s enough. Quiet storytelling still matters.
Thanks for being here and reading this.
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